Living for Today: A New Concept

I always plan for the future. Always have and always will. It's in my blood, it's embedded in my DNA, and it helps make me who I am. If I want something, I figure out how to get it and I do it. If I want to go somewhere, I make sure everything is done that needs to be done for that trip to happen. I save money, I talk to employers, I plan for a place to stay, I pack sandwiches and snacks for the long drive. I plan.

This skill is both a blessing and a curse. It has recently come up in conversations with my family and friends and it has started to weigh on me. Not that I don't like planning and being prepared but these conversations have made me realize that sometimes a balance of spontaneity and planning can be more enjoyable than strictly planning.

Now, does this mean I am going to stop saving money to buy a house? Absolutely not. Does this mean I am going to stop seeking out new adventures and making them happen by preparing? Not at all. What it means is that I am going to start choosing happiness over stress. I am going to start choosing to live and experience life without worrying too much about what could happen. All my life I have worried about what could or might happen and I've been missing out on what's actually happening.

Some people may read that, think about my life and come to the conclusion that I, in fact, haven't missed out on life because I have had a great one, and I have. But the thing is, my planning has taken over parts of my life that could be more rich had I lived in the moment.

For example, I was so involved in my education and making something of myself that I did early school every chance I could get. In 6th grade I attended a private, college preparatory school that was out of my budget and out of my normal, blue-collar, working neighborhood. A college preparatory school... in 6th grade. I was learning the ins and outs of the Latin language at age twelve. Then other kids who attended the school started to tell me I didn't belong with them. I was different. I left the school after that year.

In 8th grade I left my public junior high and went to the local high school to take high school classes early. Not many students were very fond of the 8th graders. The following year I took a college course at the local community college to explore my interest in Criminal Justice. I was fourteen. In my junior year of high school I decided that the college classes were more up my alley so I left high school to attend an early-college program at the community college. I was taking college courses on a college campus at sixteen.

Due to the number of college credits I had when I graduated high school, I decided not to play softball at the junior college that was interested in me. I already had two years under my belt and it would be a waste of time to take more classes there just to play for their team.

Waste of time? Waste of time to play the sport I love and have loved for 14 years? I missed out. I definitely missed out.

Here we are two years later and I already have my Bachelors degree, an 8-5 job in my field and a few years worth of internship experience under my belt. Where are my photo albums full of the college experience? Where are the endless memories of the friends I made and places we went? Hell, I didn't even go to my senior prom because I didn't care to experience that part of high school. I was too focused on planning my future and making something of myself.

However, this is not to say I am not proud of what I did and who I have become. I am very proud. I have proven to myself and others that hard work definitely pays off. But I am finding that in my short 21 years, I wish I had let lose a few more times than I did. I wish I had gone out on a limb and seized the moment like my adventurous side wanted to many times.

So I am telling myself now to experience life instead of just live through it. That doesn't start this weekend with a party i'm going to; that doesn't start next month with my trip to Europe; it starts now. Experiencing life and living for today starts now. I choose happiness.

Coming from a life-long over-achiever, I suggest you all do the same.