Disclaimer: In hopes of preventing misguided traffic from scrolling through this story, I will refer to the sacred female body part as a "wahoo," a term once used in a book I read and one that happens to make me laugh.
So, let's get to it.
It was during the first appointment that I developed a deep, sincere hate for the wahoo doctor. I already didn't want to be there and she just so happened to rub me the wrong way (excuse the pun). Future appointments weren't any better.
She came in my room, told me to undress and that everything had to come off. My first thought? I seriously have to take my socks off for this exam to go smoothly? What is she planning on doing to me? Regardless, I did what I was told. I put the gown on, tied it in the back and climbed back onto the table.
As I waited for her to return I had the pleasure of reading pamphlets about menstrual cycles, birth control, and other other wahoo-related things. My favorite piece of art, though, was the half naked, half organ-exposed woman plastered on the wall to my left. The poster advised women to ask questions about menopause and described all of the changes a woman's body goes through during the process. Tiny arrows pointed to the breast, the wahoo, the skin and hair - all things I get to look forward to when I get older. Wonderful.
I hear a knock on the door and before I can answer it swings open. Rude. I pull my legs together as if I could make them any closer than they already were. She asked if I undressed and if I was ready to begin the exam. Does that mean this is an option? Does you asking me if I am ready mean I can opt out if I so choose? Negative ghost rider.
She sat down on the swivel chair and rolled right up next to the table - at this point her head was at the same level as my feet. Oh god.
"I need you to scoot your butt back on the table and and put your feet in the stirrups," she said.
Stirrups? I'm not having a baby. Can't you just look from afar and tell me I'm good to go? Hardly.
Again, I do as she asks and I assume the position. But, to my surprise, just as I think I'm about to pee my pants (or not, since I was told to remove them), she stands up from the swivel chair and moves to the head of the table.
"I'm just going to check your breasts," she said.
You are going to do what? I think I just got scared.
Then another surprise - my right breast is completely exposed before I know it and she begins the most uncomfortable massage I've ever gotten. The catch? She doesn't even look at it. If you felt so inclined as to expose my girls, the least you could do is take a peak to make sure they are still there and you didn't just scare them back into my prepubescent years.
When she moved to the left side I got a little taste of terrible bedside manner. You see, between the last appointment and this one I had gotten a breast cancer tattoo below my left breast in honor of my grandmother who was a survivor, but had since passed away. The tattoo was a ribbon that spelled the word "hope" and the "e" was the actual, pink, breast cancer ribbon. All of the proceeds went to breast cancer research. I explained this to them and the nurse said she loved it. The wahoo doctor looked at it and apparently needed to clarify something.
"So you got a tattoo to help breast cancer research when tattoos can give you breast caner?"
The exam room got so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. Excuse me, but I thought I walked into the wahoo office not the church. My deep, sincere hate just got kicked up a few notches.
I simply responded, "I'm not going to get cancer, but to answer your questions, yes, I did get a tattoo to help breast cancer research." Of course I had a few other choice words I would have much rather said.
When she finished the judgmental breast-check she returned to the front row seating of the wahoo.
This is the part that gets to me. The look. Now, this must be hard for the wahoo doctor's to master because I'm sure they have seen a number of interesting looking wahoos in their day; however, the look is very important. The look says a lot and if the doctors aren't careful it can send the wrong message to us women.
In my opinion, it's best to get some kind of look. No look can mean they are trying to hide a look, but an intense look can't be good either. Some doctors do the head nod - that can mean a few things. Other's do the wide-eye... that is never a good sign. But those doctors that just get down there and stare blankly, not a single look crosses their face, that's just not cool. You are a wahoo doctor, not a poker player. If you want to keep secrets, take it to the poker table because women don't need any more anxiety than already having to visit the wahoo office.
The look says it all. The look is important. Personally, I think there should be a class in medical wahoo school all about the look and which ones are appropriate to let patients see and which are not. Some doctors just don't have what it takes to specialize in wahoos and that's just something people need to accept. If you don't pass the look exam, you can't look at wahoos for a living - it will freak women out. Trust us.
The next part has to be one of the most annoying things women are forced to hear during the wahoo appointment.
"Relax."
Seriously? Relax? You want me to relax? With the tools you use, the pressure you have to exert, and the movements you have to make, you want me to relax? Can't these wahoo doctor's come up with another word and leave 'relax' to the yoga instructors? I don't feel like that word belongs anywhere near a wahoo office, especially not this woman's office.
After one too many appointments with this particular wahoo doctor, that included other snide remarks and judgmental tendencies, I finally decided enough was enough. I switched to a new woman, whom I am quite happy with. She is nice, she is respectful and most importantly, she does her job and that's it.
I will leave you with this: I don't believe women will ever be excited to go to the wahoo doctor but you absolutely should not have to dread it. Finding a wahoo doctor you are comfortable with can save you a lot of stress, anxiety and thoughts about whether or not you should be confessing the sin of honoring a late relative with a breast cancer tattoo.
If you have had any less than appealing encounters with a wahoo doctor and feel inclined to share them with us, please do so in the comments below. We women need to stick together and speaking out about our horrifying experiences is the first step in teaching wahoo doctor's what's up.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Appropriating the Wink Face ;)
I have encountered this dilemma on multiple occasions and I often wonder if other people have found themselves in a similar predicament. What am I talking about, you ask? The wink face quandary.
Now, there are certain instances where the wink face is necessary when dealing with written/typed/texted communication. Don't go around winking in public - that's just weird.
For example: a text from a girlfriend to her boyfriend stating "If you eat that last piece of pie on the counter I'll kill you! ;)" The wink, in this case is necessary to let the boy know that the girl won't actually kill him (she might just be really pissed off and give him the silent treatment when she finds out, that's all).
Another example of the necessary wink face is during a conversation like this one:
John: Dude, we hittin up the club tonight?
Brandon: Ya bro. Kendra is out of town and you know what that means! ;)
The wink, in this case is necessary because when Kendra comes home and reads her boyfriend's text messages, he can tell her he was just joking and use it as evidence.
One last example (a little more lighthearted and less relationship-threatening):
Niece: Thanks for spending time with me today. I love visiting you and Uncle Rick.
Aunt: Of course sweetheart. I had a great time too. You and your favorite aunt will always have fun together! ;) Shh.. don't tell Aunt Susie I know who your favorite aunt is.
The wink, in this case is necessary to let the niece know the aunt is joking. (Good thing, because her niece probably would have run off and told Aunt Susie she said that and no one likes family drama.)
So now we get to the quandary: when dealing with conversations that require a wink face (to point out a joke, or otherwise), should one refrain from such usage when the conversation is between a professional colleague, professor, boss, or a friend of a friend who is talking to your other friend? After all, we wouldn't want any of those listed to mistake the wink for something less than appropriate.
Here are a few examples of messages that change by adding a wink:
The door is unlocked and I'm in my room! ;)
We will have the meeting in my office this time. ;)
Are we finishing the surprise at your house today? ;)
I can't wait to see you! ;)
So as you can see, a wink can quickly turn an innocent conversation into an incriminating email or text!
We all need to learn when the wink face is appropriate and when we should we shove it in the alphabetical lock box and keep it there until we converse with some less reputation-threatening folks.
To be safe, the wink faces should be saved for close friends and family who already know your personality and can understand the reasons behind the winks. Any other situation is asking for trouble.
Got it? ;)
Now, there are certain instances where the wink face is necessary when dealing with written/typed/texted communication. Don't go around winking in public - that's just weird.
For example: a text from a girlfriend to her boyfriend stating "If you eat that last piece of pie on the counter I'll kill you! ;)" The wink, in this case is necessary to let the boy know that the girl won't actually kill him (she might just be really pissed off and give him the silent treatment when she finds out, that's all).
Another example of the necessary wink face is during a conversation like this one:
John: Dude, we hittin up the club tonight?
Brandon: Ya bro. Kendra is out of town and you know what that means! ;)
The wink, in this case is necessary because when Kendra comes home and reads her boyfriend's text messages, he can tell her he was just joking and use it as evidence.
One last example (a little more lighthearted and less relationship-threatening):
Niece: Thanks for spending time with me today. I love visiting you and Uncle Rick.
Aunt: Of course sweetheart. I had a great time too. You and your favorite aunt will always have fun together! ;) Shh.. don't tell Aunt Susie I know who your favorite aunt is.
The wink, in this case is necessary to let the niece know the aunt is joking. (Good thing, because her niece probably would have run off and told Aunt Susie she said that and no one likes family drama.)
So now we get to the quandary: when dealing with conversations that require a wink face (to point out a joke, or otherwise), should one refrain from such usage when the conversation is between a professional colleague, professor, boss, or a friend of a friend who is talking to your other friend? After all, we wouldn't want any of those listed to mistake the wink for something less than appropriate.
Here are a few examples of messages that change by adding a wink:
The door is unlocked and I'm in my room! ;)
We will have the meeting in my office this time. ;)
Are we finishing the surprise at your house today? ;)
I can't wait to see you! ;)
So as you can see, a wink can quickly turn an innocent conversation into an incriminating email or text!
We all need to learn when the wink face is appropriate and when we should we shove it in the alphabetical lock box and keep it there until we converse with some less reputation-threatening folks.
To be safe, the wink faces should be saved for close friends and family who already know your personality and can understand the reasons behind the winks. Any other situation is asking for trouble.
Got it? ;)
Monday, June 17, 2013
The Importance of Family
I can only speak for myself, but when it comes to my life, family is number one.
I have seen too many people, friends and family alike, choosing to put their family second (sometimes even third or fourth). This behavior baffles me. I understand that everyone's situation is different and there might be things going on behind the scenes that we are unable to see; However, there are some situations I am truly aware of and I just don't understand how people can be so selfish.
A few examples of this include:
1. Choosing a significant other over family
2. A sincere disregard for spending time with family
3. Only talking to members of the family when assistance of some kind is needed
Regarding the first example (this one in particular gets on my nerves), how is it humanly possible to disown the people who have been there for you through your childhood, adolescence, teenage years (whether you believe it or not) and even into your early adulthood, for someone you met just a few years ago? What in your mind tells you that this particular person means more to you than your own flesh and blood? What did they do that was so heroic they had to be moved up on your scale of importance? I ask myself these questions often because I just don't understand the decision. Personally, if someone does not fit well with my family, if they don't get along with my siblings and everyone dreaded the moment this person walked through the door, I would not be with that individual. Family comes first.
Now, to address the second example, I will start by saying this: one of my favorite things to do on any given weekend is sit around a fire pit with my family and neighbors, listening to music, talking, laughing, enjoying a beverage (alcoholic or other) and each other's company. If you can't enjoy this with me, kick rocks. As harsh as that may sound I am very serious. I am a family-oriented individual and if someone can't enjoy spending time with the people who are most important to me (family and adopted family alike) then it just won't work out. I sincerely dislike the fact that people can go long periods of time without spending time with their family. Again, I understand situational differences and have noted them duly. However, for those individuals who have a decent family situation and disregard opportunities to stay home instead of always being out with friends - shame on you. Family time, whether that be sitting outside on the front porch with a glass of ice water and a conversation, or going to the gym together, it all important and it's a must in my book.
Lastly, (and this one is a personal pet-peeve) only talking to people when you need something (family or not) is unacceptable. What makes people think they are so important that they can come out from under their rock, or wherever they have been secluding themselves, and ask for assistance? Now, if you are like me and have a deep, sincere love for helping others, you will probably help this individual out anyway. If you are like a lot of other people who have the backbone to say "kick rocks"and could care less how that affects this individual, you might not help them. Regardless of the outcome, it is not ok to only speak to people when you need something. This is something I truly detest. It's degrading, it's selfish and it's down right rude.
Family. First. No questions asked.
I have seen too many people, friends and family alike, choosing to put their family second (sometimes even third or fourth). This behavior baffles me. I understand that everyone's situation is different and there might be things going on behind the scenes that we are unable to see; However, there are some situations I am truly aware of and I just don't understand how people can be so selfish.
A few examples of this include:
1. Choosing a significant other over family
2. A sincere disregard for spending time with family
3. Only talking to members of the family when assistance of some kind is needed
Regarding the first example (this one in particular gets on my nerves), how is it humanly possible to disown the people who have been there for you through your childhood, adolescence, teenage years (whether you believe it or not) and even into your early adulthood, for someone you met just a few years ago? What in your mind tells you that this particular person means more to you than your own flesh and blood? What did they do that was so heroic they had to be moved up on your scale of importance? I ask myself these questions often because I just don't understand the decision. Personally, if someone does not fit well with my family, if they don't get along with my siblings and everyone dreaded the moment this person walked through the door, I would not be with that individual. Family comes first.
Now, to address the second example, I will start by saying this: one of my favorite things to do on any given weekend is sit around a fire pit with my family and neighbors, listening to music, talking, laughing, enjoying a beverage (alcoholic or other) and each other's company. If you can't enjoy this with me, kick rocks. As harsh as that may sound I am very serious. I am a family-oriented individual and if someone can't enjoy spending time with the people who are most important to me (family and adopted family alike) then it just won't work out. I sincerely dislike the fact that people can go long periods of time without spending time with their family. Again, I understand situational differences and have noted them duly. However, for those individuals who have a decent family situation and disregard opportunities to stay home instead of always being out with friends - shame on you. Family time, whether that be sitting outside on the front porch with a glass of ice water and a conversation, or going to the gym together, it all important and it's a must in my book.
Lastly, (and this one is a personal pet-peeve) only talking to people when you need something (family or not) is unacceptable. What makes people think they are so important that they can come out from under their rock, or wherever they have been secluding themselves, and ask for assistance? Now, if you are like me and have a deep, sincere love for helping others, you will probably help this individual out anyway. If you are like a lot of other people who have the backbone to say "kick rocks"and could care less how that affects this individual, you might not help them. Regardless of the outcome, it is not ok to only speak to people when you need something. This is something I truly detest. It's degrading, it's selfish and it's down right rude.
Family. First. No questions asked.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Things I've Learned from Talking with Family and Friends
We have all experienced rough times where we seek advice and comfort from those around us. Have you ever experienced 6 different directions of advice on the same subject? I have. Sometimes I leave those conversations feeling even more lost than before. However, I have learned a few important things through personal experience and conversations with family and friends that I believe are worth sharing.
1. When it comes to your heart, no one but yourself can give you the answers.
Seek out as much advice as you can but don't rely solely on what others have to say. I can't express how helpful some of my friends and family members have been just through expression of words and opinions. Sometimes you need to hear about a situation from other people to get an outside perspective. However, like I said earlier, it is important to listen to yourself as well. Don't lose yourself and your own thoughts in the midst of everyone else's. No one knows your heart the way you do, so it's nearly impossible for someone to tell you how you feel and be more accurate than the way you perceive it to be. To be simple, take advice from others and use it to aid in your own decisions, not make them for you.
2. If you hold yourself back from someone or something based on the opinions of others, you might be missing out on something your heart and soul truly need to experience.
This is similar to the above mentioned lesson but takes it a step further. If you make decisions based on what other people tell you, you are bound to miss out on something. Whether that be something fun, adventurous, life-enriching, loving, embarrassing, humbling, or other, you are going to miss out if you live your life by the standards of another person. I have recently listened to a lot of different people who gave me advice about future endeavors and although I appreciate it, it seems as though a lot of those people forgot that I have to experience life for myself rather than through the lens of another life. Similarly to the advice I received, I am now offering some of my own, so please take it as you will but make your own decisions in the end.
3. Just like excuses, opinions are like ass holes, everyone's got one and often times they are shared with us whether we like it or not (the opinions, not the ass holes).
Is there really any more that needs to be said about this? I am currently sharing opinions with you just as you are currently forming your own opinions about what I have shared and maybe even about me? Who knows? The lesson to be learned here is to not take what others say as the end-all-be-all. Make sure your final decisions are based on your own opinions, thoughts, experiences, hopes, dreams, goals, and... well you get what I am trying to say.
Welcome advice from others (it might help you more than you think) but make your own decisions.
One of my favorite things to do is talk to other people and listen to their stories (strangers and friends alike). You can learn a lot by doing just that (I mean, clearly, just look at my list above!).
Until next time..
xoxo
1. When it comes to your heart, no one but yourself can give you the answers.
Seek out as much advice as you can but don't rely solely on what others have to say. I can't express how helpful some of my friends and family members have been just through expression of words and opinions. Sometimes you need to hear about a situation from other people to get an outside perspective. However, like I said earlier, it is important to listen to yourself as well. Don't lose yourself and your own thoughts in the midst of everyone else's. No one knows your heart the way you do, so it's nearly impossible for someone to tell you how you feel and be more accurate than the way you perceive it to be. To be simple, take advice from others and use it to aid in your own decisions, not make them for you.
2. If you hold yourself back from someone or something based on the opinions of others, you might be missing out on something your heart and soul truly need to experience.
This is similar to the above mentioned lesson but takes it a step further. If you make decisions based on what other people tell you, you are bound to miss out on something. Whether that be something fun, adventurous, life-enriching, loving, embarrassing, humbling, or other, you are going to miss out if you live your life by the standards of another person. I have recently listened to a lot of different people who gave me advice about future endeavors and although I appreciate it, it seems as though a lot of those people forgot that I have to experience life for myself rather than through the lens of another life. Similarly to the advice I received, I am now offering some of my own, so please take it as you will but make your own decisions in the end.
3. Just like excuses, opinions are like ass holes, everyone's got one and often times they are shared with us whether we like it or not (the opinions, not the ass holes).
Is there really any more that needs to be said about this? I am currently sharing opinions with you just as you are currently forming your own opinions about what I have shared and maybe even about me? Who knows? The lesson to be learned here is to not take what others say as the end-all-be-all. Make sure your final decisions are based on your own opinions, thoughts, experiences, hopes, dreams, goals, and... well you get what I am trying to say.
Welcome advice from others (it might help you more than you think) but make your own decisions.
One of my favorite things to do is talk to other people and listen to their stories (strangers and friends alike). You can learn a lot by doing just that (I mean, clearly, just look at my list above!).
Until next time..
xoxo
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Lessons Learned from a Broken Heart
Just when I think everything is going perfect, life rains on me again. Let's just say broken hearts are not fun and I will leave it at that.
I use to wonder when life would stop testing me. I use to think about that perfect time when I didn't have to worry about little things anymore and my stress acne would forever go away (yeah, right). It wasn't until this broken heart that I realized a few important things. Some of them are still in line for my heart and mind to accept them but I do realize they are true.
Lessons learned from a broken heart...
1. Life will never stop testing me.
As I write this I can't help but smile because I know how ridiculous this sounds to finally be realizing such a thing. I should have known this. In fact, I think I did know this, I just chose to ignore it. The fact of the matter is - life will always test us. It is not the test itself but how we respond that is important. I am generally a happy person and I try to remain optimistic throughout everything in life. I am that glass-half-full, look for the silver lining type girl. Of course no one can be this person all the time but I try to be that person as much as I can. It makes me feel better.
2. I shouldn't ever have to sweat the small things, they are small for a reason.
I am a tiny, micro-dot in the scope of the world. End of story. What that means is, my problems (the small ones) should not carry any significance in my life or anyone else's. Of course I need to express what i'm feeling and deal with issues I am concerned with but the point is to not worry because life is ok and things will get better. To better explain, please refer to this quote that seems to speak right to my heart at the moment: "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming."
3. Broken hearts do heal.
As much as I didn't think this was true a week ago when my heart was initially broken, I feel better today so that, to me, is proof that broken hearts do heal. Even a fraction better is improvement and I don't know whether that is due to understanding lessons 1 and 2 or if broken hearts just heal regardless, but either way I am glad to feel better. This is something I didn't know before because I have never truly had my heart broken, and let me share something with you after having experienced this, I hope it never happens again. Although I am thankful for life leading me the way it is meant to go, I wouldn't voluntarily submit my heart to this kind of pain again. It's different than being kicked when you are down. It's different than some jerk being a jerk and making you cry. This pain comes from deep within your soul and starts from the inside out. The aching is constant, although it can be hidden at times. And when I least expect it, when I think I have put enough chains on the door to the room in which I threw this pain and the memories attached to it, the doors swings open, the pain emerges and tears start flowing. But I promise you, take it from someone who is in the midst of the healing phase as you read this, broken hearts do heal. Because each day it hurts a little less than the day before and whether you agree or not, I believe that is something to smile about.
4. Stress acne will always come back... (this one was hard for me to accept).
Does this really need an explanation? Face wash.. get some. I am generally against violence but in this case I raise a white flag. It's the only way to defend and destroy those little pests.
I use to wonder when life would stop testing me. I use to think about that perfect time when I didn't have to worry about little things anymore and my stress acne would forever go away (yeah, right). It wasn't until this broken heart that I realized a few important things. Some of them are still in line for my heart and mind to accept them but I do realize they are true.
Lessons learned from a broken heart...
1. Life will never stop testing me.
As I write this I can't help but smile because I know how ridiculous this sounds to finally be realizing such a thing. I should have known this. In fact, I think I did know this, I just chose to ignore it. The fact of the matter is - life will always test us. It is not the test itself but how we respond that is important. I am generally a happy person and I try to remain optimistic throughout everything in life. I am that glass-half-full, look for the silver lining type girl. Of course no one can be this person all the time but I try to be that person as much as I can. It makes me feel better.
2. I shouldn't ever have to sweat the small things, they are small for a reason.
I am a tiny, micro-dot in the scope of the world. End of story. What that means is, my problems (the small ones) should not carry any significance in my life or anyone else's. Of course I need to express what i'm feeling and deal with issues I am concerned with but the point is to not worry because life is ok and things will get better. To better explain, please refer to this quote that seems to speak right to my heart at the moment: "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming."
3. Broken hearts do heal.
As much as I didn't think this was true a week ago when my heart was initially broken, I feel better today so that, to me, is proof that broken hearts do heal. Even a fraction better is improvement and I don't know whether that is due to understanding lessons 1 and 2 or if broken hearts just heal regardless, but either way I am glad to feel better. This is something I didn't know before because I have never truly had my heart broken, and let me share something with you after having experienced this, I hope it never happens again. Although I am thankful for life leading me the way it is meant to go, I wouldn't voluntarily submit my heart to this kind of pain again. It's different than being kicked when you are down. It's different than some jerk being a jerk and making you cry. This pain comes from deep within your soul and starts from the inside out. The aching is constant, although it can be hidden at times. And when I least expect it, when I think I have put enough chains on the door to the room in which I threw this pain and the memories attached to it, the doors swings open, the pain emerges and tears start flowing. But I promise you, take it from someone who is in the midst of the healing phase as you read this, broken hearts do heal. Because each day it hurts a little less than the day before and whether you agree or not, I believe that is something to smile about.
4. Stress acne will always come back... (this one was hard for me to accept).
Does this really need an explanation? Face wash.. get some. I am generally against violence but in this case I raise a white flag. It's the only way to defend and destroy those little pests.
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