The Killer.

In all of my 21 years I have never encountered something so detrimental. I have never seen something so small engulf everything in its path like it does. I have never wanted something to disappear as much as I do The Killer.

It lures. It deceives. It captures. It hooks. It harms. And it kills.

It kills dreams. It kills opportunities. It kills potential.

It takes lives right out from under people.

It collects souls in a little, tiny bag and it carries it everywhere and suffocates them until they bow before it.

It rips apart families and causes incomparable pain and anxiety.

It steals youth away from the innocent.

Its a killer.

We call this killer drugs.


My point of view is different than some in that I have explored my fair share of The Killer's territory. I haven't wandered too far into the neighborhood but enough to know I don't want to live there. It is dirty. It is dark. And most repulsive of all - it is sad. It's a very sad place to be.

And coming from a person who has seen, first hand, the effects of The Killer, I can tell you that it is not something to be taken lightly. It is serious and once it smells your interest, it won't let you go. It will have a grip on you like a snake that has locked its jaw on its victim.

Currently the victim is someone very close to me and the Killer's grip is strong.

I can't even begin to organize my thoughts into the words that would come close to explaining how I feel about this situation. Sometimes I feel nothing at all and other times I feel helpless and scared that something might happen.

I have woken up numerous times from a reoccurring dream that I can't seem to shake. In this dream I receive a call that something has happened to this person whom I care so much about. Each time I wake up I frantically check my phone to make sure it was, in fact, a dream.

After reassuring myself that everything is OK, I realize soon that nothing is actually OK. That scare being a dream only meant that I didn't receive a call that night. The Killer still has his grip on someone close to my heart. The dream simply serves as a reminder of what could happen. It is a reminder of what this person is experiencing and how deep into the Killer's territory they really are.

To us, the people adversely affected by these types of situations, it seems as though The Killer is more important to our loved ones than we are. However, I have come to realize that this is just not so. The Killer only makes it seem this way. This person who I care so much about never chose one side or the other. The Killer chooses for them when they step into its territory. If I feel helpless, I can only imagine how this person feels.

Trapped. Stuck. Imprisoned.

Imprisoned within the cells of The Killer.

Four tall, concrete walls on either side with only a slight crack and a chisel as means of escaping.

In so deep that it will take everything in their power to get out. Every ounce of will power. Every last bit of self control.

Or maybe just a statement - I NEED HELP.

Because what these people don't realize a lot of the time, is that if they help themselves, if they exert every last bit of self control and every ounce of will power they have left, there are people who will help them. There are family and friends at the top of those tall walls waiting for them to grab hold of the rope they have descended down to them. To grab it and hold it tight so that they might escape the grip of The Killer and make the climb to the top.

Unfortunately though, it is not until they grab the rope that they can be helped. They can't be lifted by the strength of others unless they take that first step themselves.

With every cell of my being, with every bit of hope, and with every last ounce of love I have in my heart for this person, I hope they can find the strength to reach up and grab that rope. I will do everything it takes to pull this person up, I just need to see some commitment, some promise, some light in their eyes.

I know it is still there.

I know you are still in there.


** This post is written without names for a reason, so please respect that decision.

The Importance of Family

I can only speak for myself, but when it comes to my life, family is number one.

I have seen too many people, friends and family alike, choosing to put their family second (sometimes even third or fourth). This behavior baffles me. I understand that everyone's situation is different and there might be things going on behind the scenes that we are unable to see; However, there are some situations I am truly aware of and I just don't understand how people can be so selfish.

A few examples of this include:
1. Choosing a significant other over family
2. A sincere disregard for spending time with family
3. Only talking to members of the family when assistance of some kind is needed

Regarding the first example (this one in particular gets on my nerves), how is it humanly possible to disown the people who have been there for you through your childhood, adolescence, teenage years (whether you believe it or not) and even into your early adulthood, for someone you met just a few years ago? What in your mind tells you that this particular person means more to you than your own flesh and blood? What did they do that was so heroic they had to be moved up on your scale of importance? I ask myself these questions often because I just don't understand the decision. Personally, if someone does not fit well with my family, if they don't get along with my siblings and everyone dreaded the moment this person walked through the door, I would not be with that individual. Family comes first.

Now, to address the second example, I will start by saying this: one of my favorite things to do on any given weekend is sit around a fire pit with my family and neighbors, listening to music, talking, laughing, enjoying a beverage (alcoholic or other) and each other's company. If you can't enjoy this with me, kick rocks. As harsh as that may sound I am very serious. I am a family-oriented individual and if someone can't enjoy spending time with the people who are most important to me (family and adopted family alike) then it just won't work out. I sincerely dislike the fact that people can go long periods of time without spending time with their family. Again, I understand situational differences and have noted them duly. However, for those individuals who have a decent family situation and disregard opportunities to stay home instead of always being out with friends - shame on you. Family time, whether that be sitting outside on the front porch with a glass of ice water and a conversation, or going to the gym together, it all important and it's a must in my book.

Lastly, (and this one is a personal pet-peeve) only talking to people when you need something (family or not) is unacceptable. What makes people think they are so important that they can come out from under their rock, or wherever they have been secluding themselves, and ask for assistance? Now, if you are like me and have a deep, sincere love for helping others, you will probably help this individual out anyway. If you are like a lot of other people who have the backbone to say "kick rocks"and could care less how that affects this individual, you might not help them. Regardless of the outcome, it is not ok to only speak to people when you need something. This is something I truly detest. It's degrading, it's selfish and it's down right rude.

Family. First. No questions asked.