Learning to Make Decisions: Not Everything in Life Can be Black and White

Follow your heart.
Follow your head.
Follow your gut.

At this point, I would rather not make the decision and just follow the yellow brick road instead. Maybe it will lead me to a place where answers grow on trees. Then I can just walk up and pick one as easily as picking a flower and everything would be alright. (Do you hear the tiny violin yet?)

Decisions dealing with matters of the heart are ones I have not had to make in the past and I certainly hope they get easier with time and practice. I have never been so ill-prepared when it comes to making a choice. One or the other. College or no college. Save money or spend money. It has always been black and white to me. This gray area nonsense is going to make my head explode.

It's as if I am standing in front of two doors and the floor below me is slowing falling. I have to chose a door but one leads the right way and one leads the wrong way. Oh, and the signs on the door are in Chinese.  My heart, mind, gut and the yellow brick road only read English and a maybe a bit of Spanish. This is a problem.

The way I see it now, I have two choices. I can follow my heart and learn by experience (either trial and error or trial and success) or I can follow my head and never know what results the other option could have yielded.

I know that everyone is going to have an opinion. I know that either way, people will give me their advice, wanted and unwanted. But I am certain about one thing, I am the only one that can make this decision. Frightening a little. However, I know this isn't the end-all-be-all. Life goes on and happiness will continue to shine in my life. It has to - otherwise it just isn't my life.

This section of the 'decision-making book' came as a surprise but I have faith that it will make me stronger in the end, regardless of which door I end up walking through.

In fact, simply writing my thoughts down (or typing them, rather) has made things a bit clearer.

Standing in the area that is shaded gray is an experience, I tell ya!

If you ever find yourself in a similar predicament, here is something to think about:

Things I've Learned from Talking with Family and Friends

We have all experienced rough times where we seek advice and comfort from those around us. Have you ever experienced 6 different directions of advice on the same subject? I have. Sometimes I leave those conversations feeling even more lost than before. However, I have learned a few important things through personal experience and conversations with family and friends that I believe are worth sharing.

1. When it comes to your heart, no one but yourself can give you the answers.
     Seek out as much advice as you can but don't rely solely on what others have to say. I can't express how helpful some of my friends and family members have been just through expression of words and opinions. Sometimes you need to hear about a situation from other people to get an outside perspective. However, like I said earlier, it is important to listen to yourself as well. Don't lose yourself and your own thoughts in the midst of everyone else's. No one knows your heart the way you do, so it's nearly impossible for someone to tell you how you feel and be more accurate than the way you perceive it to be. To be simple, take advice from others and use it to aid in your own decisions, not make them for you.

2. If you hold yourself back from someone or something based on the opinions of others, you might be missing out on something your heart and soul truly need to experience.
     This is similar to the above mentioned lesson but takes it a step further. If you make decisions based on what other people tell you, you are bound to miss out on something. Whether that be something fun, adventurous, life-enriching, loving, embarrassing, humbling, or other, you are going to miss out if you live your life by the standards of another person. I have recently listened to a lot of different people who gave me advice about future endeavors and although I appreciate it, it seems as though a lot of those people forgot that I have to experience life for myself rather than through the lens of another life. Similarly to the advice I received, I am now offering some of my own, so please take it as you will but make your own decisions in the end.

3. Just like excuses, opinions are like ass holes, everyone's got one and often times they are shared with us whether we like it or not (the opinions, not the ass holes).
     Is there really any more that needs to be said about this? I am currently sharing opinions with you just as you are currently forming your own opinions about what I have shared and maybe even about me? Who knows? The lesson to be learned here is to not take what others say as the end-all-be-all. Make sure your final decisions are based on your own opinions, thoughts, experiences, hopes, dreams, goals, and... well you get what I am trying to say.

Welcome advice from others (it might help you more than you think) but make your own decisions.

One of my favorite things to do is talk to other people and listen to their stories (strangers and friends alike). You can learn a lot by doing just that (I mean, clearly, just look at my list above!).

Until next time..

xoxo