Four ways to Focus Your Mind

If you are anything like me, your mind looks like an internet window with 2,356 tabs open at once, all the time. I am always thinking about something that needs to be done, someone I need to call, something that needs to be picked up, or sometimes I think about being anywhere other than where I am at the time of the thought. It's like a never ending to-do list and it stresses me out.

I wish I could shut my mind down for 24 hours - just 24 hours. Is that too much to ask? I would even settle with it being shut down for the 5-8 hours of sleep I get at night. That is, if you can call it sleep, when I am constantly waking up worrying about whatever is on my mind. It's not healthy. Not to mention, I get cranky when i'm tired and stressed. No one likes to see my cranky.

The worst part? When all of these things are on my mind, it's hard to focus on just one. (Go figure!) There have been times when I am mid-thought on one topic, my mind jumps to another one and I lose track of where I was in the original thought process.

Now, before I start to sound like I'm losing my mind, I understand there is a level of difficulty that comes with trying to completely free your mind of worries and thoughts, especially when you have legitimate things to worry and think about. Therefore, I have been trying to find ways to at least channel my thoughts and focus on one thing for as long as I feel necessary.

In the off chance there is anyone else out there dealing with something similar (my guess is most women), I am going to share them with you.

1. Write
Multiple studies have been linked to writing things down and better memory. Often times it seems that what is on my mind is something I either don't want to forget, or can't seem to get out of my mind, regardless of how hard I try. The act of writing something down, therefore, frees my mind from keeping it at the forefront of my thoughts because it is recorded elsewhere.

Think of it as mind deception. Even though you may not ever want to read that thought again, you are tricking yourself into thinking you will, at some point, be able to return to that thought, and you no longer need to keep it at the forefront of your mind. If it's something you do want to remember, you have it written down so that's possible without having to remember it in that moment.

Writing also helps focus my mind by challenging me to remain faithful to one topic. When writing about just one topic, all of the thoughts in the forefront of my mind must be related to said topic, therefore keeping me focused.

2. Exercise
"Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't shoot their husbands. They just don't."

Whether it be a walk around the neighborhood or an intense session of cardio kickboxing, exercise helps free and focus my mind. Generally, the slower-paced exercises help focus my mind and the intense workouts help free my mind. When I am in the middle of a kickboxing combination like jab, cross, low kick, high kick, I think about nothing other than mastering the combination to the best of my ability. When I am walking at a nice, slow pace, enjoying the scenery and taking nice, even breaths, my mind slows down with me. I guess this is why I am going to try yoga. Yes - I said it. I am going to try relaxing with yoga. I have always thought of it as something you need extreme patience for, and since I severely lack that virtue, I never mustered up the courage to try it. I have heard it does wonders for the mind though, so it is on my to-do list. (…irony?)

3. Talk to a Friend
As long as you have a friend who is a good listener, this is a must have tool in your mind-focusing box. Talking to friends helps me let off steam, laugh about things I thought I wanted to cry about, gain an outside perspective, hear advice and above all, it comforts me knowing someone is willing to listen. Having someone who is willing to listen to the stresses of your life (and who is willing to share their stresses with you, in hopes of also having someone to listen) is one of the greatest gifts. I call it friend therapy. It's cheaper than clinical therapy and better for your soul. I am lucky enough to have a few absolutely wonderful, therapeutic friends to talk to.

4. Listen to Music and Sing Along
This one is simply awesome because if the music is loud enough, and I throw in some dance moves, I can hardly hear myself think. A slightly less-effective, but fun way to clear my mind.

If You're a Bird, I'm a Bird

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

I started saying "I caught the travel bug," but now I think i'll just call myself a bird. I can fly anywhere on earth, see all the sights I've dreamed of seeing, and return home if and when I want.

I daydream about travel all the time - probably more so than I should. I think about where I should go next, what kinds of things I can do once I am there and what it will take to get me there.

I dream up ideas, big and small, and make a mental note to add them to the list. I contemplate the idea of traveling alone or with friends. Depending on the location, both options can work. I've traveled alone before and am more than OK with doing it again. I am, however, conscious of my safety and do take that into consideration.

Although, when considering travel partners, it seems like I am the only one who doesn't have something tying me down. Rather, it seems I am the only one who won't let anything tie me down.

I've talked to numerous friends about travel plans and all to often I hear the response "I would love to, but I can't," followed by some explanation as to why they are unable to accompany me or to take trips of their own. Some of these explanations I understand and others I do not. To each their own.

I use to say "I can't," as well. When I stopped saying it, I booked my flight to Paris and began my European backpacking adventure. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. A weight that had been keeping me from doing anything outside the norm. The norm being work, school, life in Reno (or one's respective city), the constant ebbs and flows of life being lived in a singular place.

When I made that first purchase, a spark lit up inside me. The gears in mind started turning and I thought to myself, "Why did I ever feel like these things were impossible? Why did I ever think that this particular piece of what I wanted in life was out of reach?"

Aside from financial or physical restrictions, this little birdy can't comprehend what would disable someone from getting exactly what they want out of life. Don't get me wrong - I do understand there are many reasons as to why one might not be able to travel, however most of the time, the reasons are things that can seemingly be overcome.

Personally, it was fear that was holding me back. Fear of doing something outside the boundaries I was generally comfortable with. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown (what may or may not happen while traveling). Fear of financial stability once the adventure ended.

Once I let go of that fear and realized "I can" travel, I can go on adventures, I can live life in more places than just my comfort zone, I did. And, I plan to do it again.

This doesn't mean that I am going to quit my job today and become a travel blogger who the followers know as Nomadic Katie (not that a job title and job description like that wouldn't rock my world), but it does mean that I am not going to let anything keep me from my dreams of travel and adventure. Not money, not a job, not a man, not anything. Even if it starts to seem like it can't be done, it can. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "possible."

"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not in the branch, but in her own wings. Believe in yourself."

Professional Courtesy: An Open Letter to Business Professionals, Higher-Ups, and Gen-Xers

Dear Business Professionals, Higher-Ups and Gen-Xers,

In a world where Gen Y's, or millennials, are largely looked down upon, criticized and attacked for their laziness, entitled attitudes and lack of hard work, it is highly important that you remember that you were once a twenty-something too.

I don't intend for this letter to be a rant about how millennials have been dealt a bad hand with regards to the economy and job availability. No, this letter is much more than that. This letter is about professional courtesy and how everyone, millennials, gen-Xers, secretaries, CEO's, construction workers, and business owners alike, all deserve professional courtesy and respect. 

In order to truly understand my frustration and stance on the subject, it would be helpful to know what I have been through. 

I was recently on the receiving end of a sincere lack of respect and professional courtesy from a business professional who is fairly high up in his company. This person has a resume with a wealth of experience and knowledge that would appeal to most businesses in his industry. 

After learning about his hard work and dedication to the industry, I was immediately overcome with respect and admiration. I too plan to work hard and dedicate myself to cultivating my passions. Seeing an example of exactly how this type of hard work can pay off was inspiring.

Unfortunately, with a resume like his and the empowerment that presumably comes from his current title, comes an attitude that screams, "I am better than you" and "you are not worth my time."

In fact, I am worth so little of his time that after dedicating a great amount of my time, energy and passion into his questions and inquiries, I waited seven weeks for a response. Seven weeks.

When I finally received an email, I was shocked, to say the least. When I opened it and read the first few words, I was bewildered. 

"As a professional courtesy, I wanted to make sure I got back to you."

First of all, I believe the window for his so called "professional courtesy" had passed. However, since I truly do respect him, appreciate his time, and would like to remain professional, I didn't bother to mention his obvious lack of professional courtesy and instead I responded respectfully.

I must also mention that in his response email, he asked that I stay in touch with him. Interesting.

I responded one last time. In that response, I thanked him for getting back to me, wished him luck in the new year and asked him one last, simple question relating to the topic at hand. 

I am now approaching day 11 with no response, yet again. Go figure.

Although I understand the demands of the industry and how busy a professional of his level can be, I find his behavior toward me, and his complete disregard for my time, rude and unprofessional. 

Coming from someone with as much experience as him, you would think he should understand what it means to be in search of a career that fulfills one's dreams and ambitions. He should understand the value in someone like me seeking advice from someone who has so much to share. He should understand what it takes - the hard work, the time, the extra effort put into each and every related endeavor. 

For someone who also had to, presumably, work his way up from the bottom, he displays a sincere lack of respect for the hard work, time and effort put in by those of us who are still working our way into the industry. It's not easy and at times, it's uncomfortable. 

In a world where we are surrounded by technology, it doesn't seem like it would be too hard to find just one minute to pick up the phone, to turn on that iPad, to open a web browser and send a quick message to someone who has put so much time and effort into reaching out to you. 

Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have heard of or encountered such behavior from professionals who have been in the "working world" longer than me. In fact, I have had similar experiences with folks who have only been doing their jobs for a few years. Regardless, those few years are a few more than I have under my belt, therefore the behavior is justified, right? Wrong. 

It's about respect. It's about professional courtesy. It's about consideration. 

So please, business professionals, higher-ups and gen-xers, if someone - anyone - has taken the time and put in the effort to do something for you or your company, do not blow them off. Give them the respect they deserve, be considerate of what they had to do and the time they put into doing it, and display some professional courtesy. 

After all, the young ones, those of us just starting out, are the future.

Sincerely, 

A frustrated, yet ever-so-motivated, twenty-something

Insecurities - A Slam Poetry Piece

The actions of a few effect more than just the actors.

The harmless talks and meets and greets are more than simple factors.

The time and depth and devotion and emotion that was shared and reciprocated, 

is the reason every inch of me, every aspect of me, my mind, body and soul is becoming hated.

And questioned, 

and second guessed 

and stressed to be better. 

The wonder of why and how could it be, constantly invading me. 

What did she have that I wasn't giving? 

Why was the secret life better than what we were living?

I catapulted myself into a world where size is no longer just a number. 

It's an evaluation of worth and I'm my own discounter. 

At the hands of another woman I now have myself to compare, 

and nothing lives up to any standards that are fair. 

Because when comparing myself to her, my personality must be perfect. 

My life must be more balanced. But if you ask me, 

I'm tired of my hands being callused. 

Callused of wiping my own tears and holding my own hand, 

when what I was supposed to have was a man. 

A man to stand beside me and help me to be better, 

but instead I was unknowingly competing for the letter. 

The title. The loyalty.

The lasting, trusting endeavor, where him and I could be in this together. 

The competition lasted long and the emotions were on high. 

If I had only known about the race I was running, 

I could have stopped questioning our demise. 

Because what was wrong was not a two way street, 

no, to me the wrongs were being done by me. 

Questions constantly came to my mind:

What am I doing to push you so far? 

Why isn't this working? I am trying so hard!

Now even months later, not many things have changed. 

I'm still working hard to please

the person who has been pushed off so far, 

too far to be at ease. 

At ease with herself, just as whole as she is, 

without questioning every minute, 

why a woman on the side stole the attention of his. 

So as this journey continues and I move to make things right,

I will make sure to show them that I don't go down without a fight.

My confidence may have been dented 

and my heart hurt beyond believed ability,

but the pain and aches and questions and cries

will lead me back to being,

a woman without insecurities. 

Why I Think These Tragic Shootings Actually Bring Out the Good in People and Humanity

When it rains, it pours.

Many people know this old saying and most of us have felt the meaning behind it, some of us ten-fold.

Recently, the news has been raining and pouring with tragic shootings. Whether they are reported more-so now due to the gun/anti-gun debates or the particular crime is simply more common, it seems like there has been an increasing number of gun-related news stories popping up lately.

With the amount of sad and tragic news being reported about these events, it is amazing how many people want to add to the pile of negativity and trash-talk our communities and humanity as a whole.

Quite frankly, it annoys me to read status updates on social media about how humanity is going down the drain. It annoys me to hear questions like "what is this world coming to?" It frustrates me to hear people say they no longer wish to live in this country or furthermore, on this planet.

I understand some of these comments are made in a joking-manner, but when events take place like the shooting at Renown Medical Center in the Center for Advanced Medicine on Tuesday, it does not mean that humanity has taken a turn for the worse.

What is does mean, is there are some folks in our community who are going to suffer physical and mental pain. There are families who are going to have to move on without loved ones. There are people who are going to replay the tragic events in their heads more than once. That alone is enough hardship for one town or a community to endure, let alone the negative comments and unnecessary statements being thrown around by the few. While the Debbie Downers and Cynical Susies are complaining about how trashy a town has become or stating their intent to forgo their U.S. Citizenship, magic is happening within the community.

If there is ever a silver lining in this type of situation is is this: communities come together and rally as one to pick up the pieces, help where help is needed, and provide general support for anyone and everyone. The shooting that took place on Tuesday happened in Reno but that didn't stop Washoe County and the City of Sparks from offering help and emergency medical services. It didn't stop the bordering agencies and entities from offering aide, outside their jurisdictions. In fact, the support and collaboration of all of these agencies was so profound, that an eye witness expressed her gratitude and appreciation.

Moving on from a tragic event like this is will never be an easy thing to do. Doing so in a sea of negative comments and trash-talk will be even harder. I am not, in any way, trying to discount the nature of the event or the tragedy that was the shooting. Events like this are terrible and I give my deepest, most sincere condolences to all of those involved.

I am simply trying to say that when events like this take place, and negative comments are thrown around like a football at a BBQ, take a second to look around at the magic happening in the community, in the midst of tragedy. Humanity is not going bad and will not go bad, so long as we have people like those right here in Reno, who are willing to step up to the plate and help the community.