Living for Today: A New Concept

I always plan for the future. Always have and always will. It's in my blood, it's embedded in my DNA, and it helps make me who I am. If I want something, I figure out how to get it and I do it. If I want to go somewhere, I make sure everything is done that needs to be done for that trip to happen. I save money, I talk to employers, I plan for a place to stay, I pack sandwiches and snacks for the long drive. I plan.

This skill is both a blessing and a curse. It has recently come up in conversations with my family and friends and it has started to weigh on me. Not that I don't like planning and being prepared but these conversations have made me realize that sometimes a balance of spontaneity and planning can be more enjoyable than strictly planning.

Now, does this mean I am going to stop saving money to buy a house? Absolutely not. Does this mean I am going to stop seeking out new adventures and making them happen by preparing? Not at all. What it means is that I am going to start choosing happiness over stress. I am going to start choosing to live and experience life without worrying too much about what could happen. All my life I have worried about what could or might happen and I've been missing out on what's actually happening.

Some people may read that, think about my life and come to the conclusion that I, in fact, haven't missed out on life because I have had a great one, and I have. But the thing is, my planning has taken over parts of my life that could be more rich had I lived in the moment.

For example, I was so involved in my education and making something of myself that I did early school every chance I could get. In 6th grade I attended a private, college preparatory school that was out of my budget and out of my normal, blue-collar, working neighborhood. A college preparatory school... in 6th grade. I was learning the ins and outs of the Latin language at age twelve. Then other kids who attended the school started to tell me I didn't belong with them. I was different. I left the school after that year.

In 8th grade I left my public junior high and went to the local high school to take high school classes early. Not many students were very fond of the 8th graders. The following year I took a college course at the local community college to explore my interest in Criminal Justice. I was fourteen. In my junior year of high school I decided that the college classes were more up my alley so I left high school to attend an early-college program at the community college. I was taking college courses on a college campus at sixteen.

Due to the number of college credits I had when I graduated high school, I decided not to play softball at the junior college that was interested in me. I already had two years under my belt and it would be a waste of time to take more classes there just to play for their team.

Waste of time? Waste of time to play the sport I love and have loved for 14 years? I missed out. I definitely missed out.

Here we are two years later and I already have my Bachelors degree, an 8-5 job in my field and a few years worth of internship experience under my belt. Where are my photo albums full of the college experience? Where are the endless memories of the friends I made and places we went? Hell, I didn't even go to my senior prom because I didn't care to experience that part of high school. I was too focused on planning my future and making something of myself.

However, this is not to say I am not proud of what I did and who I have become. I am very proud. I have proven to myself and others that hard work definitely pays off. But I am finding that in my short 21 years, I wish I had let lose a few more times than I did. I wish I had gone out on a limb and seized the moment like my adventurous side wanted to many times.

So I am telling myself now to experience life instead of just live through it. That doesn't start this weekend with a party i'm going to; that doesn't start next month with my trip to Europe; it starts now. Experiencing life and living for today starts now. I choose happiness.

Coming from a life-long over-achiever, I suggest you all do the same.

Backpacking Alone: My Thoughts on the Subject a Month Before I Leave

Planning a trip like this has been an adventure in it's own. After going through all of the planning and preparing I can't imagine the things I will experience actually being there. Throughout the course of the preparation, I have planned to make this trip happen with four different groups, totaling about six or eight people. Now, I am just about five weeks out and all of those plans have failed for one reason or another. The result? I will be backpacking through Europe alone. I am both nervous and excited at the same time but I know that this trip is not going to be postponed because of lack of friends available to accompany me. What an adventure this has turned into!

I am into the purchasing and packing stage of this trip and it's making me a little anxious. I have my backpack already, courtesy of my parents and their thoughtful graduation gift, and I love it! It is purple  with teal accents and has all of the pockets, clips and hooks I will ever need! Oh, and it is about half my size. It is bigger than I would realistically need but then again, it is me I am talking about. I need room to bring home souvenirs and gifts.. and maybe a few bottles of wine! ;) 

Here is the backpack:

Packing this thing is going to be interesting. The sales associate who helped me at REI gave me some tips as far as where to put specific items and heavy items but overall I feel like it is going to be an unorganized mess after the first few days.

I am trying to put together a checklist of items I will need to purchase and bring with me so I don't forget anything. However, I feel that it is inevitable and I will end up forgetting something. I just hope it isn't something important. Forgetting something I will absolutely need is on my list of reasons I am nervous. If I am alone that means I can't borrow any items from friends. I will also need to navigate my way to the place where I can find the items I need...alone. Oh boy. So that brings me to my lists (I am a list person if you couldn't already tell).
Reasons Why I am Nervous:

1. I will be alone - Duh
2. I might get bored and start talking to myself - a legitimate fear
3. I might get lost - with current technology this is a little less likely, however still possible
4. I might forget something important 
5. There is the possibility of being pick-pocketed or having my things stolen - you best believe I will be attached to my backpack and all of my stuff at all times!

Reasons Why I am Excited:

1. I have only been out of the country on a spur of the moment trip to Canada so my Dad could grab some Cuban Cigars - that's right, my Dad is a rebel!
2. I will finally get to do what I have wanted to do for so long!
3. I will be able to experience the culture and atmosphere of about eight different countries
4. The places I will be able to visit and the things I will be able to see are going to give me unforgettable experiences and memories.
5. Food. Oh man am I excited for the food. 
6. Meeting new people - I have always loved just listening to the stories of others and I can't wait to talk to random people from each country and hear about their lives. Whether it be a quick story about their journey to the coffee shop that morning or the story of how they met the love of their life 50 years ago, I am excited to hear stories. 
7. This trip will be a true test of my individuality and I am excited to push my boundaries.
8. Trains. I have never been on a train so I can't wait to try it. This will be a trip of "firsts!"
9. Green land! Coming from Nevada, it is rare to see an area full of colors and life so I can't wait to photograph the beautiful scenery. 
10. This will be a fantastic opportunity to blog about my experiences. Writing is what I do and what I love and I can't wait to document this trip for everyone to experience with me! 

Clearly there are more reasons to be excited than to be nervous and some aren't even on the list yet! For those of you who are worried for me - thank you. Someone needs to be! I promise I will take all necessary precautions to be as safe as I possibly can on this adventure of a lifetime! All of the right people will have my itenerary and I will be calling my parents with each new leg of the trip to update them on my travels and where I plan to go next. 

One thing I learned during this experience so far is that you can't depend on other people to experience life. You must experience it for yourself. I am going to do just that in about five weeks! 

Check back for more updates leading up to my trip and the stories and experiences that I record while I am there! 

xoxo