I Don't Know What I Want to be When I Grow Up!

After paying thousands of dollars to the higher education gods, taking numerous stressful courses, writing more words than even exist in my vocabulary on a day-to-day basis, and graduating with a degree I was sure I would use immediately, I can honestly say that at this exact point in my life, I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up.

What is this the result of? Traveling the world? Having my first job after college? Not being able to jump in the car and take off on a road trip whenever I want anymore? Or is it simply because I am just 21-years-old? Maybe Avicii's song "Wake Me Up" just really got inside my head.

Aren't I supposed to know what I want out of life at this point? Don't these crazy ideas normally happen in college when students have time to change their mind and start over on another path to greatness? Does this really happen to people after all that hard work and dedication has come to a close? Aren't I supposed to be living my life with the degree I just earned, making a living and saving for the rest of my life and all of the fun, crazy, beautiful, wonderful things that will happen during it?

Before I confuse everyone else as much as I, myself, feel that I am, let me clear something up:

I do not feel like I should have gone to school for anything other than what I did. I just don't know what I want to do with that little piece of paper that tells me I'm now qualified to do so much.

There are so many options and so many paths I can take with my degree and it seems nearly impossible to figure out which one is right for me. I come up with new ideas every day of what makes me happy and I seek opportunities to bring those ideas to life but nothing happens. That is partially due to a lack of opportunities in my area, lack of experience on my end and a complete lack of knowing where I want to be and what I want to do.  What I do know is that I want to do something that I love every day. I want to make people smile. I want to help others. I want to contribute to society in a positive way.

I know I can do that with the degree I have now but how exactly do I accomplish those goals? What position, what job title, what role in society is going to get me to that point?

Blogging? Travel blogging? Social media? Digital media? Event planning? Host my own talk show? Become a TV personality? Do public relations in house or maybe for an agency? Do I want to be a freelance worker or answer to the man at someone else's company? Do I want to work the normal 8-5 or make my own hours?

I get so anxious trying to figure out what it is that I am supposed to do in life and I feel as though I am just running in circles and getting no where. Is it just going to fall into place? I wish I had the answers. It sure would save me a lot of stress from wondering where I am going to be in a year, 5 years or even 10 years from now. Maybe I am not supposed to know just yet. Who knows?

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I'll leave you with this little anecdote that I like to look back on when my mind gets to racing like this..

I met a man once while I was working at the hospital. He came into the ER with his wife who needed to be seen for a minor health issue. Since there weren't many people in the waiting room at the time they sat and talked with me until they got called back into a room. They asked me about school and life goals and plans. I told them what I wanted to do and they smiled and told me I was going to do well, no matter the job. They told me about their life-long marriage and how they have loved every minute of being together. Then, right before his wife was called back to see the doctor, the man then looked at me, right in the eyes and said with a serious tone, "I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up." Then he laughed. Him and his wife were both in their late 60's.


....Should I even be worried?