Professional Courtesy: An Open Letter to Business Professionals, Higher-Ups, and Gen-Xers

Dear Business Professionals, Higher-Ups and Gen-Xers,

In a world where Gen Y's, or millennials, are largely looked down upon, criticized and attacked for their laziness, entitled attitudes and lack of hard work, it is highly important that you remember that you were once a twenty-something too.

I don't intend for this letter to be a rant about how millennials have been dealt a bad hand with regards to the economy and job availability. No, this letter is much more than that. This letter is about professional courtesy and how everyone, millennials, gen-Xers, secretaries, CEO's, construction workers, and business owners alike, all deserve professional courtesy and respect. 

In order to truly understand my frustration and stance on the subject, it would be helpful to know what I have been through. 

I was recently on the receiving end of a sincere lack of respect and professional courtesy from a business professional who is fairly high up in his company. This person has a resume with a wealth of experience and knowledge that would appeal to most businesses in his industry. 

After learning about his hard work and dedication to the industry, I was immediately overcome with respect and admiration. I too plan to work hard and dedicate myself to cultivating my passions. Seeing an example of exactly how this type of hard work can pay off was inspiring.

Unfortunately, with a resume like his and the empowerment that presumably comes from his current title, comes an attitude that screams, "I am better than you" and "you are not worth my time."

In fact, I am worth so little of his time that after dedicating a great amount of my time, energy and passion into his questions and inquiries, I waited seven weeks for a response. Seven weeks.

When I finally received an email, I was shocked, to say the least. When I opened it and read the first few words, I was bewildered. 

"As a professional courtesy, I wanted to make sure I got back to you."

First of all, I believe the window for his so called "professional courtesy" had passed. However, since I truly do respect him, appreciate his time, and would like to remain professional, I didn't bother to mention his obvious lack of professional courtesy and instead I responded respectfully.

I must also mention that in his response email, he asked that I stay in touch with him. Interesting.

I responded one last time. In that response, I thanked him for getting back to me, wished him luck in the new year and asked him one last, simple question relating to the topic at hand. 

I am now approaching day 11 with no response, yet again. Go figure.

Although I understand the demands of the industry and how busy a professional of his level can be, I find his behavior toward me, and his complete disregard for my time, rude and unprofessional. 

Coming from someone with as much experience as him, you would think he should understand what it means to be in search of a career that fulfills one's dreams and ambitions. He should understand the value in someone like me seeking advice from someone who has so much to share. He should understand what it takes - the hard work, the time, the extra effort put into each and every related endeavor. 

For someone who also had to, presumably, work his way up from the bottom, he displays a sincere lack of respect for the hard work, time and effort put in by those of us who are still working our way into the industry. It's not easy and at times, it's uncomfortable. 

In a world where we are surrounded by technology, it doesn't seem like it would be too hard to find just one minute to pick up the phone, to turn on that iPad, to open a web browser and send a quick message to someone who has put so much time and effort into reaching out to you. 

Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have heard of or encountered such behavior from professionals who have been in the "working world" longer than me. In fact, I have had similar experiences with folks who have only been doing their jobs for a few years. Regardless, those few years are a few more than I have under my belt, therefore the behavior is justified, right? Wrong. 

It's about respect. It's about professional courtesy. It's about consideration. 

So please, business professionals, higher-ups and gen-xers, if someone - anyone - has taken the time and put in the effort to do something for you or your company, do not blow them off. Give them the respect they deserve, be considerate of what they had to do and the time they put into doing it, and display some professional courtesy. 

After all, the young ones, those of us just starting out, are the future.

Sincerely, 

A frustrated, yet ever-so-motivated, twenty-something

Insecurities - A Slam Poetry Piece

The actions of a few effect more than just the actors.

The harmless talks and meets and greets are more than simple factors.

The time and depth and devotion and emotion that was shared and reciprocated, 

is the reason every inch of me, every aspect of me, my mind, body and soul is becoming hated.

And questioned, 

and second guessed 

and stressed to be better. 

The wonder of why and how could it be, constantly invading me. 

What did she have that I wasn't giving? 

Why was the secret life better than what we were living?

I catapulted myself into a world where size is no longer just a number. 

It's an evaluation of worth and I'm my own discounter. 

At the hands of another woman I now have myself to compare, 

and nothing lives up to any standards that are fair. 

Because when comparing myself to her, my personality must be perfect. 

My life must be more balanced. But if you ask me, 

I'm tired of my hands being callused. 

Callused of wiping my own tears and holding my own hand, 

when what I was supposed to have was a man. 

A man to stand beside me and help me to be better, 

but instead I was unknowingly competing for the letter. 

The title. The loyalty.

The lasting, trusting endeavor, where him and I could be in this together. 

The competition lasted long and the emotions were on high. 

If I had only known about the race I was running, 

I could have stopped questioning our demise. 

Because what was wrong was not a two way street, 

no, to me the wrongs were being done by me. 

Questions constantly came to my mind:

What am I doing to push you so far? 

Why isn't this working? I am trying so hard!

Now even months later, not many things have changed. 

I'm still working hard to please

the person who has been pushed off so far, 

too far to be at ease. 

At ease with herself, just as whole as she is, 

without questioning every minute, 

why a woman on the side stole the attention of his. 

So as this journey continues and I move to make things right,

I will make sure to show them that I don't go down without a fight.

My confidence may have been dented 

and my heart hurt beyond believed ability,

but the pain and aches and questions and cries

will lead me back to being,

a woman without insecurities. 

Why I Think These Tragic Shootings Actually Bring Out the Good in People and Humanity

When it rains, it pours.

Many people know this old saying and most of us have felt the meaning behind it, some of us ten-fold.

Recently, the news has been raining and pouring with tragic shootings. Whether they are reported more-so now due to the gun/anti-gun debates or the particular crime is simply more common, it seems like there has been an increasing number of gun-related news stories popping up lately.

With the amount of sad and tragic news being reported about these events, it is amazing how many people want to add to the pile of negativity and trash-talk our communities and humanity as a whole.

Quite frankly, it annoys me to read status updates on social media about how humanity is going down the drain. It annoys me to hear questions like "what is this world coming to?" It frustrates me to hear people say they no longer wish to live in this country or furthermore, on this planet.

I understand some of these comments are made in a joking-manner, but when events take place like the shooting at Renown Medical Center in the Center for Advanced Medicine on Tuesday, it does not mean that humanity has taken a turn for the worse.

What is does mean, is there are some folks in our community who are going to suffer physical and mental pain. There are families who are going to have to move on without loved ones. There are people who are going to replay the tragic events in their heads more than once. That alone is enough hardship for one town or a community to endure, let alone the negative comments and unnecessary statements being thrown around by the few. While the Debbie Downers and Cynical Susies are complaining about how trashy a town has become or stating their intent to forgo their U.S. Citizenship, magic is happening within the community.

If there is ever a silver lining in this type of situation is is this: communities come together and rally as one to pick up the pieces, help where help is needed, and provide general support for anyone and everyone. The shooting that took place on Tuesday happened in Reno but that didn't stop Washoe County and the City of Sparks from offering help and emergency medical services. It didn't stop the bordering agencies and entities from offering aide, outside their jurisdictions. In fact, the support and collaboration of all of these agencies was so profound, that an eye witness expressed her gratitude and appreciation.

Moving on from a tragic event like this is will never be an easy thing to do. Doing so in a sea of negative comments and trash-talk will be even harder. I am not, in any way, trying to discount the nature of the event or the tragedy that was the shooting. Events like this are terrible and I give my deepest, most sincere condolences to all of those involved.

I am simply trying to say that when events like this take place, and negative comments are thrown around like a football at a BBQ, take a second to look around at the magic happening in the community, in the midst of tragedy. Humanity is not going bad and will not go bad, so long as we have people like those right here in Reno, who are willing to step up to the plate and help the community.

Warning: Famous Landmarks Bingo is Not to be Played Under the Influence

A couple of months ago I introduced all of you to The Killer. This thing is vile, strong and does not let go without putting up a fight. It still has a firm grip on someone very close to my heart and to that I say this:

We use to play games all the time when we were younger. Some games we made up, others came in a box and had instructions. Whether we followed those instructions or not depended on our creativity and imagination that day.

One game I remember us playing quite often was Famous Landmarks Bingo. It was laid out just like a bingo card, with pictures of famous landmarks in place of the usual numbers. One player would pull a card, read the fact about the landmark and the other player had to guess which one it was. If they guessed correctly, they were able to dot the card in that spot (The way we played, we got a dot regardless of being right or wrong). We played that game, round after round, until we had those facts memorized and didn't need the cards anymore. We could call out a landmark and the other person would yell out a fact. Sometimes we were wrong or we would mix them up, and when that happened we just laughed.

It was because of famous landmarks bingo and all the times we played the game over and over and over again, that I was able to point out and name the landmarks I saw in Europe this summer. I would point to it and say, "Pantheon! That was on our famous landmarks bingo!" Then I would think to myself, she has to get here; she has to be able to see all of the monuments on that bingo game, just as I plan to do. We always said we wanted to. We didn't know what it meant or what it would take at the time, but we wanted to. We wanted to visit Stonehenge because we liked the name. We thought the Great Barrier Reef was "so cool!" And the Taj Mahal, well that building just looked unlike any other so, of course, we had to see it someday.

It angers and frustrates me to see that The Killer still has such a grip on her life that she can't see clearly anymore. It has interrupted her thought process, fogged up her mind and taken her morals and values hostage.  Continuing to give into The Killer will take any chance she ever had at seeing those landmarks and rip it to shreds. I would be surprised if she even remembers all the times we stayed up late playing the game.

There has to be some loop hole, some road off the beaten path to get around the "you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves" crap. I know that somewhere deep inside her mind she is screaming for help. She is hoping and yearning for some miracle to happen. One that can turn back time and stop her from making the decisions she made. She is hoping that when that feeling comes back, the one that completely overcomes her and paralyzes her mind, she can turn her cheek and refuse it. She is crying out, but she is so numb from The Killer's effects that she can't even hear herself.

I know she wants a relationship with her family. She wants to be close again. She wants to be able to take her parents out to dinner and talk to them about anything. She wants someone to be proud of her. She wants someone to see through the bad decisions and into her good heart. She wants someone to love her the way she knows she deserves to be loved. And, YES, she still deserves all of these things!

I know that if she had the choice between the life she has now and a life free of The Killer, free of the pain and addiction, free of the loneliness that comes with all of it, she would choose the free life. What does a person have to go through to get to a point where they are strong enough to make that choice? What kind of "rock bottom" does she have to reach to make the leap herself? Where is this "rock bottom?"

If I knew, I would pick her ass up and put her there! Why? Because I need her back! These parents need their daughter back! Her family needs the sweet, energetic, curious and brave girl back in their lives. She needs to experience life. She needs to travel the world and see the landmarks we talked about seeing so many years ago. She needs to see the world through the eyes of a child. Her decision to venture too far into the territory of The Killer took that away from her and she deserves to experience it. She can't do any of that under the influence.

If money could buy freedom from substance abuse addiction I would pay for it!

There has to be a way out of this - a way other than the one I've dreamed about.

If Others Judged Me the Way I Judge Myself

Being a female, I am no stranger to judgement. Judgement of character, intelligence, and appearance by oneself as well as by others. Everyone is judged at some point in their life but in my experience, females have a tendency to judge themselves more than anything. This phenomena is so intriguing to me.

Recently I have been paying more attention to the things friends tell me about themselves. They don't like their nose. They think they are fat. They have big feet. Most of these things are news to me. I never  once noticed a problem with the nose, or the size of the feet or even the body fat.

This got me thinking. I too pick myself apart at times and notice things that I am unhappy with. Do other people notice these same things? I will not venture to say these little details slide by everyone, however I am sure that most people don't even notice. So why are we judging ourselves? Do we pick ourselves apart because we aren't good enough for society or because we aren't good enough for ourselves? Why are we constantly harping on the things that makes us who we are?

All of these thoughts made my mind start spinning and forced me to imagine a day where everyone else judges me like I normally judge myself. I think it would go something like this:

I wake up, get ready and go downstairs to make breakfast. My roommate walks in the kitchen and I look down at today's ensemble because she must be thinking, wow, Katie really thinks that outfit looks good? 
I leave the house and stop at Starbucks on the way to work - it's going to be one of those days, I just know it. As I wait at the counter for my change, my hands are folded into loose fists because the barista who takes my money must be thinking, she could really use a manicure on those hands. Her chipped nail polish looks terrible. 
I turn around, looking for a place to stand that is out of the way and second guess my high-calorie coffee choice. The man standing behind me must be thinking, she definitely doesn't need that latte today. In fact, she could use a gym session or two. 
I grab my latte and make my way to work. Once there, I put my things down and sit at my computer. My coworker walks by and I inconspicuously put my hand up to my head in an effort to cover my face. I try to make it look like I was pushing hair behind my ear because she must be thinking, looks like Katie forgot to do some of her make up today. 
As the work day passes I get a bit tired. A different coworker comes to my office to ask me a question. I reach my hand up to my head, feel the bun my hair is pulled back into and wonder how it looks right now, because he must be thinking,  Katie should have straightened her hair today. It doesn't look as nice pulled back. 
The work day ends and I make my way home. I am sitting on the couch when my roommate sits next to me. I nervously look down at my underarms for noticeable sweat marks - it was warm in my office today. I do this because my roommate must be thinking, Katie sure does sweat a lot. 
I bet she is also thinking that I smell, too. 

All of these quirks, from my chipped fingernail polish to my nervous armpit check are small parts that help make up who I am. Ask anyone who has spent more than a day with me and they can probably tell you something they've noticed about me that stood out. Whether that be my makeup-less day or my hair that is pulled back into a bun, they notice.

All too often we judge ourselves based on what we think others are thinking of us. I know I am guilty. Although the above description was fictional, some of the things listed have gone through my mind before. Sometimes I do wonder if other people notice my make up, or lack there of. Sometimes I do wonder if people can smell my stressful day at work. However, the question should not be if they wonder, but why does it matter? Who are we being judgmental for?

If other people were, in fact, judging us the way we judge ourselves - it would sound as silly as my description above. And if they aren't making it a point to point these things out, why are we doing it to ourselves?